You must be lost

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I believe in order to leave the most lasting of marks on the world you have to live your life as if you mean to leave no trace whatsoever. I'm not talking carbon footprints or "off the grid". I'm talking about living as if your life is not any more important than the one next to you.

Therefore the sage goes about doing nothing, teaching no-talking.
The ten thousand things rise and fall without cease,
Creating, yet not possessing,
Working, yet not taking credit.
Work is done, then forgotten.
Therefore it lasts forever.

- From Chapter Two of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu.

I think the whole of humanity would be better off if everyone in it lived as if they intended to leave no trace of themselves behind. But human nature fights against this at every turn with a desire for immortality in its various forms. We know our lives will be over some day and it's hard to accept that everything we've ever done or worked for will be lost once we're gone. We fear unimportance. Art is created and signed. Structures are built and labeled. Stars are discovered and named after their discoverers. Scientific theories are proven and named after their provers. Medical advancements are made... you get the point. Embracing unimportance and finding a balance between that and productivity is something I struggle with constantly. I still have lots of room to evolve.

Maybe this is why I don't know how to respond to praise...

Friday, my mother-in-law came up and Chris took a half day off and we all went to the zoo. Unfortunately, everyone else in the world seemed to have the same idea. Duh, we should have known. Good Friday, a lot of people have off work, it was the last weekday of spring break and a gorgeous day to be outdoors. Chris' mom decided to get us a family pass. It gets us in all year (two adults, any children in the household under 18 plus a guest). That'll be nice and I won't feel bad about going for just a couple of hours and leaving. If we go 3 times, it'll pay for the family pass. We took a picnic lunch (something I really like about the zoo, they let you bring in coolers). I really think Jonah enjoyed himself, even if he was quite sleepy by the end.

Saturday, our neighborhood association did an Easter egg hunt. Chris brewed and I had committed to a hike at the Warner parks thinking it was supposed to be on Sunday. I canceled going to the park and took Jonah up there, and I'm glad I did (though I really would have appreciated a hike). But he had a lot of fun! I had to hold his basket, but he did a reasonably good job picking up the eggs and putting them in the basket. Unfortunately, after about 4 eggs, he noticed there was candy in them and lost interest in picking up more and started wanting to pull the candy out. Also, they had filled some with chocolate candy and it sat out in the sun that afternoon melting. Quite a mess. They did a bunny hop contest too, but Jonah just sort of stood there and looked at me. In fact, only one little girl in his age group (1-2) would actually hop. The rest of the day, we just hung out while Chris, Doug and Jonathan brewed. Well, and I planted our blueberry and raspberry plants finally (they've been sitting dormant in our kitchen window sill since fall). I also worked some composted manure into one 4x4 section of our raised vegetable garden. I was amazed and happy at how many worms were in that bed. I was also amazed but unhappy about how many tree roots grown up into it. Eventually, we may turn that into an ornamental bed and relocate our veggies.

Sunday, I sat on the back steps to drink my coffee in the morning. The air was cool, but the sun warmed up everything nicely. It was just absolutely gorgeous. After a late breakfast of omelets, I got out and planted some overdue daffodils and tulips into containers as not to waste them, then sowed some lettuce seeds in the bed I worked yesterday. I also went ahead and pruned the lower branches on the trees in the backyard. There really wasn't much to do. We did a lot of work last year and it seems there's not nearly as much to be done to get it back into shape this year. I'm now sporting a nice farmer's tan from wearing t-shirts to work in the yard this weekend. Guess I need to pull out the tank tops. Chris had picked up a chocolate bunny, some candy eggs and a little stuffed rabbit for Jonah's Easter basket Saturday night. He got to open it Sunday morning and really seemed to love it. He carried the stuffed rabbit around most of the morning and kept pointing to the basket during the day giving me the "more" sign saying he wanted more candy. He took no for an answer reasonably well when it just wasn't appropriate for him to have more chocolate.

I also finished reading The Tao of Pooh this weekend. It's been really cute, but also a very nice, simplified way to look at Taoist principles. Seems kind of strange to say "simplified Tao" since Tao is supposed to be so simple anyway. But it's sometimes difficult to really grasp such simplicity. Our minds, distracted by the material world, want to nag us to believe there's more to it. There really isn't.

So yeah, like most people were this weekend I would imagine, I was so busy, I probably wouldn't have bothered with LJ even if there wasn't a strike. Today, I need to get this house back into shape. It's amazing how when I don't clean for two days, it suddenly looks like I haven't cleaned in a month.

I'd like to know which spiritual studies (astrology, tao, numerology, etc...) are your favorites and why.

I feel like what I've studied is just a tiny drop in the huge ocean of spiritual beliefs and systems that are out there to be studied. Of what I've studied, I feel I've only barely scratched the surface of potential for each one. The Renaissance Soul in me hates choosing favorites of anything because I fear I'll be stuck with that choice forever. Though I know that's not true and I'm always free to change my mind as I discover new information. So that said, there are a couple of studies that have range perhaps a bit more truly to me than any others thus far.

Of course, Taoism comes to mind immediately. But again, I feel I've only barely touched on it. So, I don't have much to say about it other than it just makes complete and utter sense to me. It's empowering and humbling at the same time. The challenge to live life in subtlety. To quiet yourself enough to hear the natural beatings of this world, or not just hear them, but really listen and let them guide you. To walk forward, always as a whole being, one foot in this world, the other foot in the other world. A perfect harmony between you're physical (which includes intellect) and spiritual self. To strive for balance and maintain it. It's as if I'm reading what I've always known to be true.

Perhaps my second favorite study is Tarot. I see it as a system of images meant to bring forth only what I already know to be true, but perhaps what's been locked away from me within my subconscious. We hide a lot from ourselves, but you can not lie to a Tarot deck. I don't use it as a method of revealing real unknowns or telling the future or anything of that nature. It is just something to jar from my own mind things I seek to hide from myself and make me face them. Sometimes it takes just a single card. Sometimes an entire spread. But it never ceases to amaze me how true it really is.