The Unbearable Brightness of Jonah.
Feb. 9th, 2011 12:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Monday I had a parent/teacher conference (annual thing). Tuesday, I met with an Educational Consultant from Vanderbilt who had come to evaluate all the kids in the classrooms at his school.
What I heard was overwhelming praise for Jonah's cognitive abilities. He knows things that most four-year-olds don't know and has an enormous vocabulary. He's able to come to conclusions that most kids his age aren't able to. They used the word "gifted" several times.
As an example, to get the kids to sort of stop what they're doing and be still to hear the next direction, his teacher will often ask the kids "what's over your head right now?" Most of the kids look up confused as if there's something directly above their heads that they're not noticing. Jonah apparently always shouts out "a roof!" He's the only one.
An example from home: Sunday he was sitting eating lunch holding his left hand out like he had a smart phone in it then he would pretend to touch the imaginary screen with his right index finger. He started talking about his imaginary friend, Max (who has recently moved to South America) and how apparently they're building a Star Wars museum in South America where Max lives. I said something about how maybe we could go visit him some time and visit the Star Wars museum. He said, "it's only for imagination friends, not real people." He went on to say, while looking it up on his imaginary smart phone, that it was supposed to open on Friday, but they're going to have to close it because a storm was coming. Then he went on to ask how many miles it was to South America and how long it took to get there and what method of transportation someone might use to get there. To wihch I answered, "I don't know, a long time and most people fly." His teachers informed me that most kids wouldn't know that South America is a place (whether they've seen UP or not) or that you can go there and particularly wouldn't pay enough mind to ask specific questions about how far away it is and how long it might take to get there.
They're incredibly impressed with how bright he is and not only his knowledge base, but his methods of expanding that knowledge by asking increasingly detailed questions about the things that interest him. The child's inquisitiveness knows no bounds, really and I try to indulge it as much as possible; I try to find him answers to all his questions and make sure he understands those answers. I'm just as curious about things as he is in a lot of cases and often I want to know how something works or more about things I don't know when he asks. So we have fun looking things up together.
Sometimes the only way to explain it is to show him something in a book or on the computer. Like Monday as we were walking in the house from the conference, he said he heard an owl. I listened for a minute and heard that no, it was a mourning dove, not an owl. Of course he asked what a mourning dove was ("a bird) and what it looks like. So we walked straight in the house and I pulled one of the bird books off the shelf and found it for him to show him what it looked like. This of course spurred other questions about other birds he saw on the color plate next to the dove. That's pretty much how it goes with us. We continue on like that until he's exhausted his curiosity for the moment and then he moves onto something else.
I'm so glad I'm home with him. I would never be able to do this if I worked. His little mind is just a sponge! So long as he's in charge of the learning (i.e. he's satisfying a curiosity rather than me sitting him down and trying to teach him something), he really latches onto the information and even spits it back out later on. His retention and memory just astound me. He remembers small details about things he did as far back as two years ago. He was talking about his first birthday party yesterday and how there were lots of people there, "like pops" (which is where we had the party, at my dad's house). Or a couple of weeks ago he mentioned going to Philip's Toy Mart with his grandmother and her friend "that one time", which was a couple of years ago, at least.
So, this is why Things Jonah Says are so typically funny and sometimes outlandish. But they've become so drawn out into complex conversations, I'm not able to post much of them to Twitter anymore (for those of you who used to see them there and at Facebook). One of these days, I'll post a comprehensive list here to keep for posterity.
However, his gross motor skills (running, jumping, throwing, etc.) and social abilities (looking people in the eye, asking to play with other kids instead of just running up and throwing himself into their established play, respecting personal space) are behind for his age group. He has a very short attention span (even for a four-year-old) and a tendency towards hyperactivity. Now, the Educational Consultant assured me and gave me a long anti-alarmist spiel about how they don't even evaluate or diagnose ADD or ADHD at his age and they certainly don't medicate for it until well into kindergarten when it's proven that it affects their learning. But he did score very high in the category for behavioral tendencies that are the same as kids who are ADHD. She assured me that if we work with him now to sort of curb his impulsive nature and sort of rewire him that it's very likely it will not turn into ADD/ADHD and that he will likely never have to be medicated for it. I look at it sort of as someone who is hyperglycemic and their diet is altered to keep them from becoming diabetic. If we can work now to curb these behaviors and teach him to be less impulsive, then he can excell in these areas in which he currently has fallen behind.
Examples on this: if there's a group of kids playing, he might just run up in their little group and start grabbing toys and sort of force his way into their play. He climbs all over people (not in an aggressive way, but still, it is usually unpleasant) and has trouble keeping his hands to himself. His potty training issues stem from his inattentiveness; he gets too engrossed in play and has an accident. He trips over himself when he's running, falls a lot and is generally clumsy and awkward. Again, this is in comparison with his peers; no one expects a four-year-old to have perfect balance and be an expert gymnast or anything (except maybe Lugash on The Simspons). And anyone who has observed him for any length of time knows how generally high strung and loud he can be.
I find it a little ironic that two yeas ago, the parent/teacher conference went exactly the opposite: that he was well advanced in gross motor skills and such but behind in his speech and vocabulary and they were wanting to talk about speech therapists and such.
Even still, the meetings were both very positive. The only reason they're the least bit concerned about the hyperactivity and impulsivity is because they're worried that if it goes unchecked, it may begin to affect him adversely as he gets older and particularly as he starts kindergarten. They expect much more of kindergarteners in terms of behavior: being able to sit still, taking direction, keeping their hands to themselves, etc. These are all things he's currently struggling with, so it's all part of preparing him for "big boy school" as he calls it.
His teachers actually said that if we were okay with it, they'd like to recommend that he sort of skips a year and goes directly to the Pre-K five-year-old class next year instead of moving up with his fellow four-year-olds. They said since he's cognitively ready for kindergarten or even beyond right now, that being amongst other kids that are on that mental level but that act a little more mature than his peers in class right now may sort of rub those behaviors off on him. I'm hesitant because it means he wouldn't be in class with his friends that's he's gotten to know over the past couple of years. But really we have to do what's best for him developmentally, socially and educationally. All of these things will be a factor, I suppose. This is the first year there have been friends with names he recognizes (instead of just "my friend" or "that kid") and looks forward to seeing everyday, so it's hard to make him move up to a class full of kids he doesn't know. Not that he won't make new friends, but... it's just hard as a parent to know what to do.
We're in the process, on the recommendation of the Educational Consultant, of getting an appointment with the Parenting and Behavior Clinic at the Division of Developmental Medicine at Vanderbilt so they can evaluate him and give us a course of action. I sort of don't want to make any decisions about his school until we go there and can see what they think will be best for him. Overall, I'm very excited to see what they have to say and what sort of things we might be able to do to help him settle into himself a little better. I will be particularly excited to hear suggestions about keeping him from treating people like jungle gyms and running around the house screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac. Because almost all of the things I've done thus far are temporary patches at best.
So, those are my current parenting joys and challenges. And speaking of the kiddo, it's time to pick him up from school... early... because OMGMOARSNOW! *grumble*
What I heard was overwhelming praise for Jonah's cognitive abilities. He knows things that most four-year-olds don't know and has an enormous vocabulary. He's able to come to conclusions that most kids his age aren't able to. They used the word "gifted" several times.
As an example, to get the kids to sort of stop what they're doing and be still to hear the next direction, his teacher will often ask the kids "what's over your head right now?" Most of the kids look up confused as if there's something directly above their heads that they're not noticing. Jonah apparently always shouts out "a roof!" He's the only one.
An example from home: Sunday he was sitting eating lunch holding his left hand out like he had a smart phone in it then he would pretend to touch the imaginary screen with his right index finger. He started talking about his imaginary friend, Max (who has recently moved to South America) and how apparently they're building a Star Wars museum in South America where Max lives. I said something about how maybe we could go visit him some time and visit the Star Wars museum. He said, "it's only for imagination friends, not real people." He went on to say, while looking it up on his imaginary smart phone, that it was supposed to open on Friday, but they're going to have to close it because a storm was coming. Then he went on to ask how many miles it was to South America and how long it took to get there and what method of transportation someone might use to get there. To wihch I answered, "I don't know, a long time and most people fly." His teachers informed me that most kids wouldn't know that South America is a place (whether they've seen UP or not) or that you can go there and particularly wouldn't pay enough mind to ask specific questions about how far away it is and how long it might take to get there.
They're incredibly impressed with how bright he is and not only his knowledge base, but his methods of expanding that knowledge by asking increasingly detailed questions about the things that interest him. The child's inquisitiveness knows no bounds, really and I try to indulge it as much as possible; I try to find him answers to all his questions and make sure he understands those answers. I'm just as curious about things as he is in a lot of cases and often I want to know how something works or more about things I don't know when he asks. So we have fun looking things up together.
Sometimes the only way to explain it is to show him something in a book or on the computer. Like Monday as we were walking in the house from the conference, he said he heard an owl. I listened for a minute and heard that no, it was a mourning dove, not an owl. Of course he asked what a mourning dove was ("a bird) and what it looks like. So we walked straight in the house and I pulled one of the bird books off the shelf and found it for him to show him what it looked like. This of course spurred other questions about other birds he saw on the color plate next to the dove. That's pretty much how it goes with us. We continue on like that until he's exhausted his curiosity for the moment and then he moves onto something else.
I'm so glad I'm home with him. I would never be able to do this if I worked. His little mind is just a sponge! So long as he's in charge of the learning (i.e. he's satisfying a curiosity rather than me sitting him down and trying to teach him something), he really latches onto the information and even spits it back out later on. His retention and memory just astound me. He remembers small details about things he did as far back as two years ago. He was talking about his first birthday party yesterday and how there were lots of people there, "like pops" (which is where we had the party, at my dad's house). Or a couple of weeks ago he mentioned going to Philip's Toy Mart with his grandmother and her friend "that one time", which was a couple of years ago, at least.
So, this is why Things Jonah Says are so typically funny and sometimes outlandish. But they've become so drawn out into complex conversations, I'm not able to post much of them to Twitter anymore (for those of you who used to see them there and at Facebook). One of these days, I'll post a comprehensive list here to keep for posterity.
However, his gross motor skills (running, jumping, throwing, etc.) and social abilities (looking people in the eye, asking to play with other kids instead of just running up and throwing himself into their established play, respecting personal space) are behind for his age group. He has a very short attention span (even for a four-year-old) and a tendency towards hyperactivity. Now, the Educational Consultant assured me and gave me a long anti-alarmist spiel about how they don't even evaluate or diagnose ADD or ADHD at his age and they certainly don't medicate for it until well into kindergarten when it's proven that it affects their learning. But he did score very high in the category for behavioral tendencies that are the same as kids who are ADHD. She assured me that if we work with him now to sort of curb his impulsive nature and sort of rewire him that it's very likely it will not turn into ADD/ADHD and that he will likely never have to be medicated for it. I look at it sort of as someone who is hyperglycemic and their diet is altered to keep them from becoming diabetic. If we can work now to curb these behaviors and teach him to be less impulsive, then he can excell in these areas in which he currently has fallen behind.
Examples on this: if there's a group of kids playing, he might just run up in their little group and start grabbing toys and sort of force his way into their play. He climbs all over people (not in an aggressive way, but still, it is usually unpleasant) and has trouble keeping his hands to himself. His potty training issues stem from his inattentiveness; he gets too engrossed in play and has an accident. He trips over himself when he's running, falls a lot and is generally clumsy and awkward. Again, this is in comparison with his peers; no one expects a four-year-old to have perfect balance and be an expert gymnast or anything (except maybe Lugash on The Simspons). And anyone who has observed him for any length of time knows how generally high strung and loud he can be.
I find it a little ironic that two yeas ago, the parent/teacher conference went exactly the opposite: that he was well advanced in gross motor skills and such but behind in his speech and vocabulary and they were wanting to talk about speech therapists and such.
Even still, the meetings were both very positive. The only reason they're the least bit concerned about the hyperactivity and impulsivity is because they're worried that if it goes unchecked, it may begin to affect him adversely as he gets older and particularly as he starts kindergarten. They expect much more of kindergarteners in terms of behavior: being able to sit still, taking direction, keeping their hands to themselves, etc. These are all things he's currently struggling with, so it's all part of preparing him for "big boy school" as he calls it.
His teachers actually said that if we were okay with it, they'd like to recommend that he sort of skips a year and goes directly to the Pre-K five-year-old class next year instead of moving up with his fellow four-year-olds. They said since he's cognitively ready for kindergarten or even beyond right now, that being amongst other kids that are on that mental level but that act a little more mature than his peers in class right now may sort of rub those behaviors off on him. I'm hesitant because it means he wouldn't be in class with his friends that's he's gotten to know over the past couple of years. But really we have to do what's best for him developmentally, socially and educationally. All of these things will be a factor, I suppose. This is the first year there have been friends with names he recognizes (instead of just "my friend" or "that kid") and looks forward to seeing everyday, so it's hard to make him move up to a class full of kids he doesn't know. Not that he won't make new friends, but... it's just hard as a parent to know what to do.
We're in the process, on the recommendation of the Educational Consultant, of getting an appointment with the Parenting and Behavior Clinic at the Division of Developmental Medicine at Vanderbilt so they can evaluate him and give us a course of action. I sort of don't want to make any decisions about his school until we go there and can see what they think will be best for him. Overall, I'm very excited to see what they have to say and what sort of things we might be able to do to help him settle into himself a little better. I will be particularly excited to hear suggestions about keeping him from treating people like jungle gyms and running around the house screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac. Because almost all of the things I've done thus far are temporary patches at best.
So, those are my current parenting joys and challenges. And speaking of the kiddo, it's time to pick him up from school... early... because OMGMOARSNOW! *grumble*
no subject
on 2011-02-12 10:35 pm (UTC)