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mellymellMomming is:
2 parts Martha Stewart
1 part Judge Judy
4 parts Bozo the Clown
6 parts zen master
I came up with that yesterday afternoon as I was attempting to wash dishes and clean the kitchen with two 3-year-olds running laps around the first floor of the house at top speed giggling and screaming as loud as their little lungs were able. Such it was for the last 15 minutes or so of a playdate/babysitting with the neighbor's daughter, who is about 3 months younger than Jonah. Since they've been out of school on break this week, Maitane (her mom) had the glorious idea to trade off a couple of mornings so the kids could play together and the two of us could have some time to get some things done.
Maya was awesome, as usual. But Jonah really had his spoiled brat hat on, which honestly, I've never seen him wear. I've never, ever seen him get possessive about toys and just be completely uncooperative about sharing and playing with other kids, especially Maya. But on more than one occasion, I had to take him downstairs and have a talk with him and he continued to be bratty for pretty much the rest of the day until he just wore himself out with it and lost some privileges. I had to stay absolutely hard-nosed when he finally decided to straighten up and kept asking to have said privileges reinstated. I stuck with it and made sure he knew I appreciated his conscious and positive change in behavior, but reminded him that I had told him earlier that he could not earn it back. I can not be a softy and go back on my word. That teaches him nothing, except manipulation. He threw a couple of fits because maybe he thought he could butter me up with good behavior and get back what he lost. But I was absolutely done bargaining for the day.
I have a few theories as to why he was acting up. For one, he's usually in school three days each week and I think being stuck with me all day, he's gotten sick of me. Also, he doesn't typically play with other kids one on one this much without having lots of kids or other activities to distract him and keep that impulsive nature moving. Also, also, he has been going through a kind of needy phase where he wants me to entertain him all day. This is not normal for him as he's usually very independent. Part of that phase may include more infant/young toddler type behaviors, like being possessive of his toys and such which he might not have shown before. From what I understand, right around this age, they're sort of confused on whether they're big kids or babies and might flip back and forth between acting like one or the other. He might be compensating for big kid responsibilities that we've recently added (like potty training, dressing himself, taking a shower by himself and being expected to pick his toys to earn an allowance) by dusting off some old infant/young toddler behaviors that we either thought were long gone or he hadn't displayed before. And finally, this might be the first of many manifestations of only child syndrome.
I don't know. I always want to try to figure out why he acts the way he does. Like if I can understand where the behavior is coming from, I might be able to find the antidote to it.
Anyway... all this on a Thursday. Thursdays are supposed to be my bitch. But once I finally sat down to dinner (at 8:15 *sigh*), I felt like the day had completely defeated me. Now today I'm in recovery, but really needing to get a whole list of things done, particularly because the time line for my major projects right now just got shortened by a week (I'll explain later... maybe, if there's time).
Despite the late timing on dinner, it was absolutely fantastic! I made what I might call a kitchen sink veggie lasagna. Had sauteed zucchini, mushrooms and eggplant as well as roasted red peppers, sundried tomatoes and marinated artichoke hearts and I added some goat cheese to the ricotta layer. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if I made my own sauce, but I was short on time (and it was still freakin' late). Totally worth the wait, though. I absolutely devoured it along with a salad and a pint of Chris' Scottish ale. On days like yesterday, I'm thankful for the many taps and the stocked humidor in the house.
2 parts Martha Stewart
1 part Judge Judy
4 parts Bozo the Clown
6 parts zen master
I came up with that yesterday afternoon as I was attempting to wash dishes and clean the kitchen with two 3-year-olds running laps around the first floor of the house at top speed giggling and screaming as loud as their little lungs were able. Such it was for the last 15 minutes or so of a playdate/babysitting with the neighbor's daughter, who is about 3 months younger than Jonah. Since they've been out of school on break this week, Maitane (her mom) had the glorious idea to trade off a couple of mornings so the kids could play together and the two of us could have some time to get some things done.
Maya was awesome, as usual. But Jonah really had his spoiled brat hat on, which honestly, I've never seen him wear. I've never, ever seen him get possessive about toys and just be completely uncooperative about sharing and playing with other kids, especially Maya. But on more than one occasion, I had to take him downstairs and have a talk with him and he continued to be bratty for pretty much the rest of the day until he just wore himself out with it and lost some privileges. I had to stay absolutely hard-nosed when he finally decided to straighten up and kept asking to have said privileges reinstated. I stuck with it and made sure he knew I appreciated his conscious and positive change in behavior, but reminded him that I had told him earlier that he could not earn it back. I can not be a softy and go back on my word. That teaches him nothing, except manipulation. He threw a couple of fits because maybe he thought he could butter me up with good behavior and get back what he lost. But I was absolutely done bargaining for the day.
I have a few theories as to why he was acting up. For one, he's usually in school three days each week and I think being stuck with me all day, he's gotten sick of me. Also, he doesn't typically play with other kids one on one this much without having lots of kids or other activities to distract him and keep that impulsive nature moving. Also, also, he has been going through a kind of needy phase where he wants me to entertain him all day. This is not normal for him as he's usually very independent. Part of that phase may include more infant/young toddler type behaviors, like being possessive of his toys and such which he might not have shown before. From what I understand, right around this age, they're sort of confused on whether they're big kids or babies and might flip back and forth between acting like one or the other. He might be compensating for big kid responsibilities that we've recently added (like potty training, dressing himself, taking a shower by himself and being expected to pick his toys to earn an allowance) by dusting off some old infant/young toddler behaviors that we either thought were long gone or he hadn't displayed before. And finally, this might be the first of many manifestations of only child syndrome.
I don't know. I always want to try to figure out why he acts the way he does. Like if I can understand where the behavior is coming from, I might be able to find the antidote to it.
Anyway... all this on a Thursday. Thursdays are supposed to be my bitch. But once I finally sat down to dinner (at 8:15 *sigh*), I felt like the day had completely defeated me. Now today I'm in recovery, but really needing to get a whole list of things done, particularly because the time line for my major projects right now just got shortened by a week (I'll explain later... maybe, if there's time).
Despite the late timing on dinner, it was absolutely fantastic! I made what I might call a kitchen sink veggie lasagna. Had sauteed zucchini, mushrooms and eggplant as well as roasted red peppers, sundried tomatoes and marinated artichoke hearts and I added some goat cheese to the ricotta layer. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if I made my own sauce, but I was short on time (and it was still freakin' late). Totally worth the wait, though. I absolutely devoured it along with a salad and a pint of Chris' Scottish ale. On days like yesterday, I'm thankful for the many taps and the stocked humidor in the house.
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no subject
on 2010-10-22 05:19 pm (UTC)At anyrate, I think you are an AWESOME mom! :)
no subject
on 2010-10-22 06:05 pm (UTC)Thanks. :)
no subject
on 2010-10-22 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-10-22 06:22 pm (UTC)I believe you absolutely have to follow through with your threats or else they totally backfire. I always remember The Simpsons (The Itchy and Scratchy Movie) where Bart is contemplating straightening up and flying right because he was actually going to go to bed without dinner. Then Homer pops in with leftover pizza and ruins the whole thing. I want Jonah to be both a Chief Justice of the Supreme Court AND a sleazy male stripper, just like the late Earl Warren! ;)
It's not easy, especially when you've got a broken-hearted child crying his eyes out because you hit him where it hurts (figuratively speaking). I've even had "you're making me sad" and "please be happy, don't be angry" thrown at me between sobs for taking away bedtime stories on more than one occasion. But the next day is ALWAYS a better day. And because I've seen it work with him thus far, I know I have to keep it up. Even if on my way out of the room, I let out a quiet "awwww".
no subject
on 2010-10-24 02:40 pm (UTC)I"m sure it's hard, but I think you're being an awesome parent!
no subject
on 2010-10-26 10:55 pm (UTC)And as far as Jonah's behavior goes, just when you get used to how your kid acts, he's going to change it. And this doesn't stop at adolescence, either ...
I'm glad you "hard-nosed" him. You're absolutely right; he needs to know his boundaries!