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I try to send you peace and love and hope for the best of life and health for you and your child and you turn around and preach at me to stop doing the very same thing that you're doing to everyone around you.
I don't feel I need to explain myself, but I will anyway. I wasn't saying "don't be angry". I was asking you, for the sake of your child, to stop bad mouthing people and posting all this anger because it's just perpetuating it, not getting over it. One of the victims of Katrina put it best. She was one of the unfortunate ones that was stuck at the Convention Center for days on end. She never spoke about it afterward, because "how can you get past all the horrible things that went on if you're still talking about it". But you don't want to forget, do you, Ryan? You want to wallow in your anger. Make your child angry along with you so that hopefully one day s/he'll help you fight this war you've waged on everything and everyone.
You think you're so much better than everyone else because you've studied the mind so deeply and yet you don't even understand what the fuck is going on in your own head. Did you really comprehend it or did you just pass the tests?
Tell me not to look down on people? I completely set aside anything my brother had told me about the situation so that I could try to be supportive of you in a tough time. Then you sit at daddy's farm, running away from your problems, never having taken responsibility for your own life and tell ME not to look down on people while all you do is bad mouth anyone who's ever cared about you?! What the fucking hell Ryan?! You really are insane and should be committed to an institution. Is it any better to spend your life in school and then NEVER BOTHERING TO APPLY THAT EDUCATION TO ANYTHING WORTHWHILE?
Yeah, no respect for people that haven't taken college courses, eh? Guess that wasn't aimed at Jason, since he's at least attempted that game (and that's what you said, right, "not even try"). Dead end jobs? Perhaps. But at least "they" have jobs. What has your selfish existence given to the world? Hopefully, at least that will change after the birth of your child.
Yes, education is extremely important, and like you said, I don't always agree with decisions my sibling has made, but they're his to make, not mine or yours. I work really hard to continue my education on my own in things I feel are practical for me to know. I wasn't handed gobs of money to go to school along with the full means of financial support for anything and everything I could possibly want along the way. No one said to me, "here Mel, run up a credit card, I'll pay it off for you." Nope, I started working when I was 16 and haven't stopped yet. Of course you wouldn't know what that's like either. What experience, now?
33 is a holier-than-thou year, perhaps, I'll agree to that for sure. No, I'm wrong, that only applies to your 33rd year. But then any year for that matter in your life could take the same tone. I'm not pretending to know your past, I just see it "could" be true, based on the time I've known you. I only hope you can pull your head out of your own ass long enough to take care of your child. You've never been able to nurture yourself, why in the fuck would you be able to nurture your child? Yeah, nurturing it by overdosing on cold medications while it's trying to grow a heart and a brain (heart beats start at 3 weeks, dear, when it's only the size of a peppercorn). I'm sure it appreciated that. Christie doesn't want her child so she's of course given up. But at least she's not using hers as a weapon. How used will s/he feel after birth, I wonder.
Speak about what you know (which apparently is very little). I'm not the one who's financially supporting our family. I'm about to quit my job to be a housewife to try to support Chris in what he's worked so hard for the last 10 years to accomplish. We're not seeking cash. We're working our asses off to get what we need to provide a healthy home for ourselves and our future children. Of course, you wouldn't know a god damned thing about working for what you have, would you, Ryan? Perhaps all your food, shelter, clothing and college funds fall out of the sky.
You don't know my family, Ryan. Again, diarrhea of the mouth on something you know absolutely nothing about. You've never bothered to look us in the eye. Always looking down from your pedestal. We look like ants from up there don't we? Hard to see any souls from up there, I bet. They fade in the distance and in the smog of prescription meds that surrounds your head. I'm glad you're not going to be a part of our family. We don't need it tainted. We've had enough struggles on our own. We don't need a loose cannon of idle (?) threats looming over us. So yeah, stay away. I hope we never have to deal with you again.
Fuck spells Ryan, I was 19 when I believed in that bullshit. Placebo effect is all it really is. You believe it so it's true. I was bucking my Christian private school education still. Again, speak what you know, 'cause you don't know me. If you hadn't noticed (and you obviously didn't), I loved you and hoped and prayed for health for you and your baby. You just turned around and shit in my face. So yeah, fuck you. You're not worth the effort. I have no "practices" other than meditation, which I do strictly for my own peace. What people do with their own lives is their own fucking business. If they need support and friendship and love, I try to offer that to them, but that's all. When they turn around and spit in my face when I offer it, I walk away, simple as that. People can destroy their own lives on their own time far away from me. Not my problem anymore.
Talk about my darkness? Your light is completely gone, buried in self-pity and misdirected anger. I've got a nice balance going on here in the real world. I know I need to protect myself and my family from people like you, yet knowing I can still open my heart and send love and joy to those that really matter. Don't flatter yourself to think I'd waste my precious energy on you. I have very little of it these days, since it's devoted to a greater cause of my own. You're not getting any, good or otherwise.
DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I KNOW OR DON'T KNOW ABOUT HAVING A CHILD GROWING AND THRIVING INSIDE OF ME! You don't know the whole story either, so you can shut the fuck up right there.
Far more experienced in school, yes and in the books you've read, of course. BUT YOU HAVE YET TO EXPERIENCE THE REAL FUCKING WORLD. You're a child Ryan. You need mommy and daddy to take care of you. What would you do without your parents to bail you out every time you fuck up? You'd rot in a gutter or in your crack houses of yesterday, perhaps.
It's not just the anger you spew, though. It's the fact that now, because someone has wronged you, you suddenly have someone toward which you can direct all of your frustration caused by your own inadequacies. You can take all that anger that should be directed at yourself and blame someone else. Before it was mommy for giving you too many daddies, but now, you've got Jason as your martyr. It's never Ryan's fault that Ryan is a fuck up. It's always because someone did something that they probably shouldn't have that Ryan just couldn't recover from. Boo-fucking-hoo. Add another pill to the daily dose.
All you really wanted from me was for me to say, "yeah, fuck Jason, he's a bastard and it's all his fault." Since I didn't say that, you scorned me. So what, like you matter. I'm done with you. I reach out a kind hand to you and you bite it. Nice. Fucking nice. I hope I never see or hear from you again. Others might put up with this shit, but not me. Have fun wallowing in your anger. And when your child spits that anger back at you, I hope you laugh and don't swing back to hit him/her instead. Sorry I ever "tread" love and light on you. You certainly never deserved it.
I don't feel I need to explain myself, but I will anyway. I wasn't saying "don't be angry". I was asking you, for the sake of your child, to stop bad mouthing people and posting all this anger because it's just perpetuating it, not getting over it. One of the victims of Katrina put it best. She was one of the unfortunate ones that was stuck at the Convention Center for days on end. She never spoke about it afterward, because "how can you get past all the horrible things that went on if you're still talking about it". But you don't want to forget, do you, Ryan? You want to wallow in your anger. Make your child angry along with you so that hopefully one day s/he'll help you fight this war you've waged on everything and everyone.
You think you're so much better than everyone else because you've studied the mind so deeply and yet you don't even understand what the fuck is going on in your own head. Did you really comprehend it or did you just pass the tests?
Tell me not to look down on people? I completely set aside anything my brother had told me about the situation so that I could try to be supportive of you in a tough time. Then you sit at daddy's farm, running away from your problems, never having taken responsibility for your own life and tell ME not to look down on people while all you do is bad mouth anyone who's ever cared about you?! What the fucking hell Ryan?! You really are insane and should be committed to an institution. Is it any better to spend your life in school and then NEVER BOTHERING TO APPLY THAT EDUCATION TO ANYTHING WORTHWHILE?
Yeah, no respect for people that haven't taken college courses, eh? Guess that wasn't aimed at Jason, since he's at least attempted that game (and that's what you said, right, "not even try"). Dead end jobs? Perhaps. But at least "they" have jobs. What has your selfish existence given to the world? Hopefully, at least that will change after the birth of your child.
Yes, education is extremely important, and like you said, I don't always agree with decisions my sibling has made, but they're his to make, not mine or yours. I work really hard to continue my education on my own in things I feel are practical for me to know. I wasn't handed gobs of money to go to school along with the full means of financial support for anything and everything I could possibly want along the way. No one said to me, "here Mel, run up a credit card, I'll pay it off for you." Nope, I started working when I was 16 and haven't stopped yet. Of course you wouldn't know what that's like either. What experience, now?
33 is a holier-than-thou year, perhaps, I'll agree to that for sure. No, I'm wrong, that only applies to your 33rd year. But then any year for that matter in your life could take the same tone. I'm not pretending to know your past, I just see it "could" be true, based on the time I've known you. I only hope you can pull your head out of your own ass long enough to take care of your child. You've never been able to nurture yourself, why in the fuck would you be able to nurture your child? Yeah, nurturing it by overdosing on cold medications while it's trying to grow a heart and a brain (heart beats start at 3 weeks, dear, when it's only the size of a peppercorn). I'm sure it appreciated that. Christie doesn't want her child so she's of course given up. But at least she's not using hers as a weapon. How used will s/he feel after birth, I wonder.
Speak about what you know (which apparently is very little). I'm not the one who's financially supporting our family. I'm about to quit my job to be a housewife to try to support Chris in what he's worked so hard for the last 10 years to accomplish. We're not seeking cash. We're working our asses off to get what we need to provide a healthy home for ourselves and our future children. Of course, you wouldn't know a god damned thing about working for what you have, would you, Ryan? Perhaps all your food, shelter, clothing and college funds fall out of the sky.
You don't know my family, Ryan. Again, diarrhea of the mouth on something you know absolutely nothing about. You've never bothered to look us in the eye. Always looking down from your pedestal. We look like ants from up there don't we? Hard to see any souls from up there, I bet. They fade in the distance and in the smog of prescription meds that surrounds your head. I'm glad you're not going to be a part of our family. We don't need it tainted. We've had enough struggles on our own. We don't need a loose cannon of idle (?) threats looming over us. So yeah, stay away. I hope we never have to deal with you again.
Fuck spells Ryan, I was 19 when I believed in that bullshit. Placebo effect is all it really is. You believe it so it's true. I was bucking my Christian private school education still. Again, speak what you know, 'cause you don't know me. If you hadn't noticed (and you obviously didn't), I loved you and hoped and prayed for health for you and your baby. You just turned around and shit in my face. So yeah, fuck you. You're not worth the effort. I have no "practices" other than meditation, which I do strictly for my own peace. What people do with their own lives is their own fucking business. If they need support and friendship and love, I try to offer that to them, but that's all. When they turn around and spit in my face when I offer it, I walk away, simple as that. People can destroy their own lives on their own time far away from me. Not my problem anymore.
Talk about my darkness? Your light is completely gone, buried in self-pity and misdirected anger. I've got a nice balance going on here in the real world. I know I need to protect myself and my family from people like you, yet knowing I can still open my heart and send love and joy to those that really matter. Don't flatter yourself to think I'd waste my precious energy on you. I have very little of it these days, since it's devoted to a greater cause of my own. You're not getting any, good or otherwise.
DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I KNOW OR DON'T KNOW ABOUT HAVING A CHILD GROWING AND THRIVING INSIDE OF ME! You don't know the whole story either, so you can shut the fuck up right there.
Far more experienced in school, yes and in the books you've read, of course. BUT YOU HAVE YET TO EXPERIENCE THE REAL FUCKING WORLD. You're a child Ryan. You need mommy and daddy to take care of you. What would you do without your parents to bail you out every time you fuck up? You'd rot in a gutter or in your crack houses of yesterday, perhaps.
It's not just the anger you spew, though. It's the fact that now, because someone has wronged you, you suddenly have someone toward which you can direct all of your frustration caused by your own inadequacies. You can take all that anger that should be directed at yourself and blame someone else. Before it was mommy for giving you too many daddies, but now, you've got Jason as your martyr. It's never Ryan's fault that Ryan is a fuck up. It's always because someone did something that they probably shouldn't have that Ryan just couldn't recover from. Boo-fucking-hoo. Add another pill to the daily dose.
All you really wanted from me was for me to say, "yeah, fuck Jason, he's a bastard and it's all his fault." Since I didn't say that, you scorned me. So what, like you matter. I'm done with you. I reach out a kind hand to you and you bite it. Nice. Fucking nice. I hope I never see or hear from you again. Others might put up with this shit, but not me. Have fun wallowing in your anger. And when your child spits that anger back at you, I hope you laugh and don't swing back to hit him/her instead. Sorry I ever "tread" love and light on you. You certainly never deserved it.
