Writing: To whom it may concern. . .
Jan. 14th, 2010 04:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mellymell. . . and to those I've been neglecting, I've been writing this week and it's going swimmingly! At times, it almost feels like it's out of my hands. My characters are kind of saying, "uhm, about what you had in mind, yeah, that's not going to work for us" and doing their own thing. It's Weird.
The roadblocks I was/am hitting where things seem too similar to something else in the genre are turning out to make the story so much better. I'm learning not to be frustrated by these realizations because they turn out far improved from what I had in mind originally. I hadn't touched the draft since November and instead had been working in the outline recently. When I went over to the draft a day or two ago, I still had some notes of the original story line there and I had to laugh at myself a bit. If I keep it up, I might have to stop using "The Worst Novel Ever Written" as my pet title. I might instead upgrade it to "A Pretty Awful Freakin' Novel".
As a result of such sweeping changes in story line, characters disappear or are drastically changed as well. That's been an interesting thing to watch happen. One character at the beginning of the week was cut completely. Now I've brought him back as just a sort of cheeky bastard instead of a backstabbing son-of-a-bitch. I think his character is going to be tons of fun to write. Almost as much fun as the main character's best friend who is a lighthearted cynic and at times, down right snarky (every drama needs one, or two, or ten).
Since I axed a major back story, I've also got this ancient order of vampire police, so to speak, dangling out there unused. I know most of the vampire series I've read have at least one of these sorts of groups (Volturi, Children of Darkness, etc.) and it might seem cliche. But I'm struggling to come up with a major supernatural conflict to juxtapose all the regular everyday conflict they face while trying to live somewhat normal day-to-day lives as immortals. I have no idea how it's going to play out, but I'm leaving them in my character profiles document for now as a possibility. By the way, they are not the bloody vampire X-Men!
As mentioned, I'm putting pretty much everything in my outline right now, but I need to start fleshing some of this stuff out over in the draft (which is still very empty at 5 pages and 3119 words). It just feels easier to do it in the outline format, even when I'm dealing with dialog and descriptions and such. Parts of the outline that I don't really want to deal with in depth yet read like outline (i.e.: a few lines of "this stuff happens somehow" type descriptions). But parts of it I've fleshed out with dialog and some description and they read more like rough draft. I've got 16 pages of outline for 9 chapters with 12317 words.
I see now what![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
belluthien has talked about weaving in threads as they come. A new character popped in yesterday and I had to go back and weave her into a chapter previous to the one I was working on. Also, because of a change in the story line, I had to go back and weave in some [rather humorous] mind reading here and there where applicable. So, I bounce around pretty erratically. The whole thing is very chaotic right now. That's probably why I feel more comfortable in the outline. It's organized chaos. . . just like me (Taurus/Aries cusp, look it up).
I think I've finally settled on third person point of view, but I still want to do one chapter in first person because I just think it needs to be done that way. I'm of switching to my main character's point of view during a particularly tumultuous time. Ok, so really I just want a vehicle to basically "fade to black" at the end of the chapter. :P No really, I don't want to her or the reader to see what's about to hit her.
The thing I'm most surprised at is how things come out as metaphor or allegory after they're already on the page. It makes me wonder how much of the literature we see as allegorical wasn't originally intended to be that way. Here, I thought I had to be really clever to get stuff like that to come out. But no, I can be dense old me and it happens anyway.
The unfortunate thing about writing is that it can be all consuming. I haven't worked out at all yet this week and I've done bare minimum on everything else as far as housework and such goes. So much for resolutions, right? Hey wait, writing was a resolution too! But I really feel afraid to not work on the writing when it comes for fear that it might be gone when I have a chance to sit down and do it. One very small thing has already slipped my mind because I didn't have a minute to put it down. I've got a piece of it still, so it might not be lost entirely. But, the meat of it is gone and I have no idea what I was going to say. Also, I'm back into one of those "it keeps me up at night" phases. The sleep I manage to get is poor due to what I can only assume is my overactive imagination spinning more yarns. I wake up feeling more tired than when I drifted off. I just wish I could remember my dreams.
The same thing that is unfortunate, however, is also very fortunate (being consumed by writing that is). Seasonal depression has hit, or that's the only thing I can figure out. Even though I'm making great strides in writing and I feel I'm moving forward in life and such, I'm depressed. I feel very inadequate and prone to despair that I can't do anything about it. I can't explain it other than I've felt cold for too many days in a row and there's nothing left to look forward to (or rather, distract me with) until the days turn warm and lengthen. There's even been some sun lately and that's not enough (it usually is). I know spring will be here before I know it and I'll have flowers to plant and running to do, but I can't help but feel really emo right now for some reason.
For me, that means delving into it and owning it. Some people like to be cheered up when they're sad. I'd rather wear it until it comes around naturally or I get to the bottom of it and have a breakthrough. Which ever. I'm the same way with anger. If I'm pissed off, leave me the hell alone and let me be pissed off for a bit. I'll come around eventually. Also, let it be known that I'm not self-medicating or otherwise and this is not to be considered a dangerous depression or anything. I'm just dealing and listening to really whiny emo music which has actually been very inspirational for the writing.
In retrospect, it starts to set in right after Halloween every year. But I've got so many distractions in November and December that it doesn't really, REALLY hit until January. I get hopelessly optimistic for like a week around New Year's when everything is shiny and new and then life sucks for no good reason until about mid-March. Suddenly, I'm a ball of sunshine in April and I'm usually good again until after Halloween. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Always repeat.
In the meantime, I can get wrapped up in my writing and kind of forget about the depression for a little while. What can I say? I do teh art good when depressed. Unfortunately, the second I close the laptop, it slaps me in the face with "oh yeah, I was full of despair for no real reason". On the bright side, it made a particularly heart wrenching scene remarkably easy to write yesterday. I just really need to stay the hell out of the chapter that I'm thinking of writing in first person right now. Seriously. I'm all for wallowing in my sorrow, but damn!
The roadblocks I was/am hitting where things seem too similar to something else in the genre are turning out to make the story so much better. I'm learning not to be frustrated by these realizations because they turn out far improved from what I had in mind originally. I hadn't touched the draft since November and instead had been working in the outline recently. When I went over to the draft a day or two ago, I still had some notes of the original story line there and I had to laugh at myself a bit. If I keep it up, I might have to stop using "The Worst Novel Ever Written" as my pet title. I might instead upgrade it to "A Pretty Awful Freakin' Novel".
As a result of such sweeping changes in story line, characters disappear or are drastically changed as well. That's been an interesting thing to watch happen. One character at the beginning of the week was cut completely. Now I've brought him back as just a sort of cheeky bastard instead of a backstabbing son-of-a-bitch. I think his character is going to be tons of fun to write. Almost as much fun as the main character's best friend who is a lighthearted cynic and at times, down right snarky (every drama needs one, or two, or ten).
Since I axed a major back story, I've also got this ancient order of vampire police, so to speak, dangling out there unused. I know most of the vampire series I've read have at least one of these sorts of groups (Volturi, Children of Darkness, etc.) and it might seem cliche. But I'm struggling to come up with a major supernatural conflict to juxtapose all the regular everyday conflict they face while trying to live somewhat normal day-to-day lives as immortals. I have no idea how it's going to play out, but I'm leaving them in my character profiles document for now as a possibility. By the way, they are not the bloody vampire X-Men!
As mentioned, I'm putting pretty much everything in my outline right now, but I need to start fleshing some of this stuff out over in the draft (which is still very empty at 5 pages and 3119 words). It just feels easier to do it in the outline format, even when I'm dealing with dialog and descriptions and such. Parts of the outline that I don't really want to deal with in depth yet read like outline (i.e.: a few lines of "this stuff happens somehow" type descriptions). But parts of it I've fleshed out with dialog and some description and they read more like rough draft. I've got 16 pages of outline for 9 chapters with 12317 words.
I see now what
belluthien has talked about weaving in threads as they come. A new character popped in yesterday and I had to go back and weave her into a chapter previous to the one I was working on. Also, because of a change in the story line, I had to go back and weave in some [rather humorous] mind reading here and there where applicable. So, I bounce around pretty erratically. The whole thing is very chaotic right now. That's probably why I feel more comfortable in the outline. It's organized chaos. . . just like me (Taurus/Aries cusp, look it up).I think I've finally settled on third person point of view, but I still want to do one chapter in first person because I just think it needs to be done that way. I'm of switching to my main character's point of view during a particularly tumultuous time. Ok, so really I just want a vehicle to basically "fade to black" at the end of the chapter. :P No really, I don't want to her or the reader to see what's about to hit her.
The thing I'm most surprised at is how things come out as metaphor or allegory after they're already on the page. It makes me wonder how much of the literature we see as allegorical wasn't originally intended to be that way. Here, I thought I had to be really clever to get stuff like that to come out. But no, I can be dense old me and it happens anyway.
The unfortunate thing about writing is that it can be all consuming. I haven't worked out at all yet this week and I've done bare minimum on everything else as far as housework and such goes. So much for resolutions, right? Hey wait, writing was a resolution too! But I really feel afraid to not work on the writing when it comes for fear that it might be gone when I have a chance to sit down and do it. One very small thing has already slipped my mind because I didn't have a minute to put it down. I've got a piece of it still, so it might not be lost entirely. But, the meat of it is gone and I have no idea what I was going to say. Also, I'm back into one of those "it keeps me up at night" phases. The sleep I manage to get is poor due to what I can only assume is my overactive imagination spinning more yarns. I wake up feeling more tired than when I drifted off. I just wish I could remember my dreams.
The same thing that is unfortunate, however, is also very fortunate (being consumed by writing that is). Seasonal depression has hit, or that's the only thing I can figure out. Even though I'm making great strides in writing and I feel I'm moving forward in life and such, I'm depressed. I feel very inadequate and prone to despair that I can't do anything about it. I can't explain it other than I've felt cold for too many days in a row and there's nothing left to look forward to (or rather, distract me with) until the days turn warm and lengthen. There's even been some sun lately and that's not enough (it usually is). I know spring will be here before I know it and I'll have flowers to plant and running to do, but I can't help but feel really emo right now for some reason.
For me, that means delving into it and owning it. Some people like to be cheered up when they're sad. I'd rather wear it until it comes around naturally or I get to the bottom of it and have a breakthrough. Which ever. I'm the same way with anger. If I'm pissed off, leave me the hell alone and let me be pissed off for a bit. I'll come around eventually. Also, let it be known that I'm not self-medicating or otherwise and this is not to be considered a dangerous depression or anything. I'm just dealing and listening to really whiny emo music which has actually been very inspirational for the writing.
In retrospect, it starts to set in right after Halloween every year. But I've got so many distractions in November and December that it doesn't really, REALLY hit until January. I get hopelessly optimistic for like a week around New Year's when everything is shiny and new and then life sucks for no good reason until about mid-March. Suddenly, I'm a ball of sunshine in April and I'm usually good again until after Halloween. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Always repeat.
In the meantime, I can get wrapped up in my writing and kind of forget about the depression for a little while. What can I say? I do teh art good when depressed. Unfortunately, the second I close the laptop, it slaps me in the face with "oh yeah, I was full of despair for no real reason". On the bright side, it made a particularly heart wrenching scene remarkably easy to write yesterday. I just really need to stay the hell out of the chapter that I'm thinking of writing in first person right now. Seriously. I'm all for wallowing in my sorrow, but damn!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2010-01-14 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-01-15 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-01-14 11:26 pm (UTC)I'm jealous! :)
no subject
on 2010-01-15 02:21 pm (UTC)Also, this is kind of a "curl up in a ball and cry" depression rather than a "I want to punch someone" depression. When I feel like that, exercise is the only thing I can do to release it really. I know what you're talking about, as far as not being able to concentrate and wanting to punch and throw things. I'm thinking Rhythm Boxing or Kung Fu on your Wii fit or something of that nature. The EA Games Active More Workouts thing we have has a great fast paced sparing station with lots of punches and kicks.
Just keep trying. You'll find an outlet. :)
no subject
on 2010-01-15 12:15 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-01-15 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-01-15 01:31 am (UTC)Things you describe about writing are all very familiar to me. Eventually, I brought my outline into the draft. (I still keep it separate, too.) And I've been writing through it, taking down the frame when the draft is thee, working in the bits I wrote out of order...
It is a charge reading about your experience on this journey. Enjoy, and keep sharing.
y
no subject
on 2010-01-15 02:44 pm (UTC)It's good to hear that others have done things this way as well. I began to wonder if I was doing it wrong, but I just couldn't force myself to free write in the draft until I had figured out where things should go. I still feel a little lost in the draft at times. The outline kind of feels like a sanctuary of sanity right now. ;) I just keep reminding myself that there's not really a right and wrong way to go about it.
I'm glad you like reading about it. I thought perhaps my writing friends would like to read a familiar experience or compare notes and the non-writing friends might like to see how a story is born. Above all, I want to document it for myself, since I've never had an experience like it before. I find it fascinating because it's not at all how I thought it would be. It's not so formulaic. I'm starting to think I can actually do this now. ;)
no subject
on 2010-01-15 06:53 pm (UTC)I'm really glad I have the wip up on a locked journal, because I can look back and see just when I finished a chapter, and I've used each entry to keep notes of changes I made in edits, etc.
I started in Sept. 07. That first January I had the ending of what may be considered one novel up, Acts I & II, though parts of things in the middle there were still very rough. The following January I gave up editing in my Acts I & II, and started Act III, and now I'm writing the concluding sequence. I know I'll have it done sometime this month.
I like to keep those kind of log details, because they ARE great to look back on, and I haven't kept them in my draft here on the computer.
Tagging things here is also a good way to be able to look back.
I don't think there's a wrong way to write a novel, excepting one thing... Not finishing. A big thing that can make that happen is getting stuck in re-writes of the beginning, or editing anywhere for too long, before the draft is done. I found myself doing that, and stopped. Thank God! I still edit, when I find I absolutely MUST, but then I get back to going forward.
And once this is finished, sometime this month, I will be able to settle myself down in edit heaven, because I LOVE that part. lol.
This writing friend likes to hear about another writer's experience. I love to talk about it, myself! (As I'm sure you see here.)
Above all, I want to document it for myself, since I've never had an experience like it before. I find it fascinating because it's not at all how I thought it would be. It's not so formulaic.
Yes! It is fascinating, and for me also, nothing like what I expected when I started. And for me it's also very organic, growing out of questions. Eric has said he thinks I'm an investigator, hard at work uncovering the story. (I think I'm going to take some of what I wrote here and post it in my writer journal, lol.)
I'm starting to think I can actually do this now. ;)
YES!
y
no subject
on 2010-01-18 05:20 pm (UTC)I agree that not finishing would be the biggest disservice to what I've managed to put together so far. I mean, I really love my characters and they're doing some great stuff. I'd hate to let some of the hard stuff get in the way of it coming around to a finished product. I know I'm going to have trouble getting through certain parts. I can already see that (the war chapters in particular are going to be challenging to write). I can't let those stop me though. There are options to get around those things, but I think that's lazy writing. It's what I hate about some of the novels I've read that I've not enjoyed (*cough*Twilight*cough*). ;)
I can also see where I could get very bogged down in editing. I love that part too, and I'm just going to have to slog through the draft until the end and then have my bliss.
I like what Eric said. There are indeed sections where the notes are just questions that I know I need to answer at some point.
Another thing I find fascinating is how many people I suddenly know who are either writing epic fanfic or their first novels. They're all people I've known in other capacities, but they're now becoming "writing friends". :)
Yes!
no subject
on 2010-01-18 07:23 pm (UTC)I also write about writing in my flocked journal, but I've started shifting most of that stuff to the writer's journal, now that I have it, and because I think for the most part my flist isn't really to interested in my writing process. (I may be wrong, but I don't know...)
I know I'm going to have trouble getting through certain parts. I can already see that (the war chapters in particular are going to be challenging to write). I can't let those stop me though.
I knew that, too. I had quite a number of these. Each and every time I've gotten through it, and been very happy with the results. You can do it! And you won't be stopped.
I also thought about the options of getting around certain things, but figured it was a cop out, and I had to hit the issue head on, or I'd be cheating myself, my characters and the readers... (cough *Twilight* cough) Yes.
It's been interesting seeing some of my friends get involved in this. I don't know why it happened like that. Maybe we fuel each other on.
And I think "writing friends" are very special, actually. I cherish them...
YES!
y
no subject
on 2010-01-17 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-01-17 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-01-17 04:50 am (UTC)My pet title was "My Great Novel." I wonder what that says about us... ;)
One little tip that I got from 2 new york times best selling authors... while your writing, if you have a character suddenly pop in, and you need to go back & "weave them in" DON'T DO IT! Make a note or something in a notebook, or right there in your manuscript in BIG RED LETTERS, and then when you rewrite your draft (which you will about a million times), add them into the beginning. Otherwise you'll never finish your first draft. BEST ADVICE EVER. At Least Yvette & I thought so...
I'm so excited for you hon! Keep it up!
no subject
on 2010-01-17 04:31 pm (UTC)Subject matter is relevant here as well, I think. I look at myself and think, "What the hell are you doing? You're a housewife writing a vampire novel. You're just asking for the SMeyer comparisons, aren't you?" And lets be honest, as much as I love a good vampire story, I've never read one that I'd call great literature. Ok, Dracula, fine.
What if you're working strictly in an outline? I'm not to a draft yet. I have a document started, but I'm not working in it at all. So, when something comes up right now, I finish what I'm in the middle of and when I'm to a stopping point and go back to add a few previous notes where applicable.
I've been made aware of the danger of editing too much before you have a draft done. I think that's what got me the other day when I came up with the plot. I lost my train of thought once I added plot notes and spent too much time reading over the whole outline trying to get re-inspired to continue work where I left off. Once I picked back up where I was, things flowed again. But it scared me for a minute because I'm not ready to put it away just yet.
no subject
on 2010-01-17 09:30 pm (UTC)-You do better than SM. It's not hard to do. :D
-People don't read Vampire novels for great Lit. They read them for entertainment.
-Oh! Sorry. I though you were writing! Yes, edit edit edit your outline! But don't let it keep you from your actual writing & don't make it to rigid. You want room to grow. :)
no subject
on 2010-01-18 04:29 pm (UTC)Here's hoping. If I don't manage to, I'm going to go live in a cave somewhere, I think. ;)
Exactly my point. So I'm not going to kid myself by even jokingly calling it "My Great Novel". Better to undercut expectations and let people be surprised if it turns out worth reading.
Yeah, knowing how much the outline has changed as it is and how easy it is to renumber chapters and move things around, it's definitely flexible. You worried me, for a minute because I was thinking, "what, I'm supposed to write this from beginning to end at this point? There's no way, I give up." ;) I've got 21 chapters in my outline now and if I had to guess, I could see it growing by another ten or so. I think once I get the outline done, I'm going to put it away for a little while and process it all. Then I can come back fresh and start the draft.
no subject
on 2010-01-18 07:30 pm (UTC)This is indeed extremely good advice.
But I actually still weave some of the time... I can't resist it. But I've made sure I don't get stuck there, and I'm very close to finished. I have also started making notes in red letters of things that will need further weaving, or checking, etc... The key point is to keep going forward, and I'm doing that.
Just keep writing, just keep writing... We need Dori Just Keep Writing icons.
Yes.
y
no subject
on 2010-01-21 02:38 am (UTC)Like this? ;-)
on 2010-01-21 02:49 am (UTC)Lol! And she was writing about not procrastinating, etc, and I told her I would follow her advice, and that I needed a Dory "Just Keep Writing" icon. So she proceeded to pracrastinate, and made me this.
Hehe. If you take it, credit Kirby Krow. ;-)
y
Re: Like this? ;-)
on 2010-01-21 02:51 am (UTC)Re: Like this? ;-)
on 2010-01-21 02:54 am (UTC)y
Re: Like this? ;-)
on 2010-01-21 03:19 am (UTC)Re: Like this? ;-)
on 2010-01-21 03:39 am (UTC)Yes.