mellymell: (Default)
I posted this on Twitter last night, but there are some Ren Faire going friends here that wouldn't have seen it there:

Doesn't that sound like something you'd hear in the Pub Sing? My longest endurance thus far was something around 20 minutes. It took me about 10 minutes to figure out when it starts over.

When Chris found this last night, we had a short discussion of from back in the day which was sort of in the same vein. I'm sad to see it appears to no longer be up. I get a "bandwidth exceeded" error on their site and I haven't seen one of those in a long freakin' time. Kind of automatically dates the site right there doesn't it? Ah, early 2000s internet, before you were known as internets.

Also, now Jonah has something to add to his internet hilarity repertoire. He already goes around singing "badger badger badger badger, mushroom, snaaaake!" and "peanut butter jelly time." Now he can go around singing, "aye-ya chicken on a raft, aye-ya chicken on a raft, chicken on a raft on a Monday morning, ah, what a terrible sight to see..."
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I've been really good about not checking the sites lately. Mostly because my t-shirt drawer grew to 2 drawers and now even those are so stuffed, I've had to pull out the long sleeve ones that I layer with and move them to hangers. But I missed a great Zoidberg/Android one last week that I swore to myself I was getting for Chris anyway. So, I felt extra pressured to pick this one up today and to spread the word so the rest of you Tolkien fans can be infected by the awesomeness. Go forth and buy! Or don't. Whatever. (I wearing my Apathy Coalition shirt right now, can you tell?)
mellymell: (Default)
In an effort to both post more and to be more positive...

Rules: For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day. Tag eight people to do the same. I'm not tagging anyone, so if you'd like to do it, DO IT!

Despite several viewings of The Empire Strikes Back in his short life, Jonah just today discovered the phrase "laugh it up, fuzzball" and has been sharing it with everyone he encounters and randomly while he's playing with his legos.

Next, I'm expecting to get a report at school that he called some kid a scruffy looking nerfherder.

Moar funny!

Aug. 5th, 2010 10:39 am
mellymell: (Default)
I don't know who sent out the memo to interweb companies to BE MOAR AWESOME! but I'd like to give them a hug. I was kind of frustrated that I seemed to have been subscribed to a newsletter in which I had no interest. But when I clicked on the link to unsubscribe, I got this along with my confirmation:
mellymell: (Default)

Dear Melanie,

Your Free DVD from Dale "Cougar" Armstrong and was gently taken down from our warehouse shelves with velvet gloves and placed on a satin pillow.

Ten of our most respected employees inspected the DVD, and polished the case and disc to ensure that the DVD arrives in your hands in the best possible condition.

When the packing specialist from Ogden, Utah, announced that the course was about to be placed in its box, a hush fell over the entire warehouse. Our entire staff watched in awe as he put the DVD in the most ornate gold-lined box that we could find.

We had a huge celebration in your honor afterwards, and the whole company marched up and down the aisles of Wire-Sculpture until finally the pilot said it was time to leave. The entire city of Ogden waved "Goodbye!" to your package on its way to you in our private Wire-Sculpture jet.

I hope you had an enjoyable time shopping at We sure had a great time shipping your DVD. We're all exhausted from your order, but we can't wait for you to come back soon!

If your DVD didn't arrive in a gold-lined box, don't blame the shippers. I might have exaggerated a bit. But we want you to know that we do value you as a client, and as a fellow wire jewelry artist.

The most exciting part of all is that within a few days, you'll be on your way to learning the secrets of the wire jewelry pros, as you begin your journey to become a successful wire jewelry artist!

Thank you once again.
mellymell: (Default)
I want to see a Family Guy style tangent where they parody Blue's Clues. When he asks Blue a question in the beginning and Blue puts a big blue paw print on the screen to indicate they have to spend 20 minutes playing Blue's Clues for him to find the answer, I want him to go off on her about, "JUST FUCKING TELL ME, I'M TIRED OF YOUR GAMES!"

I can totally see it.
mellymell: (Default)
I can't help but sometimes feel like pointing in a mirror and yelling, "UR DOIN IT WRONG!" But, I'm at a loss for any other way to go about things sometimes.

Last night, Jimi had his front paws propped up on my lap while he was getting some attention. Jonah comes over and points to his exposed wang and asks, "what's that mommy?"


Without even pausing, I just say, "that's Jimi's penis, Jonah. Just like you have. That's what Jimi uses to go peepee, just like you do."

To which he replies, "Oh, Jimi's penis."

To which I mentally facepalm at hearing my 3-year-old son say the word penis clearly and confidently. It was all I could do to keep from bursting out in laughter, really. Then immediately following said hypothetical laughter with a distressed look to the heavens to ask, "what have I done?!"

He then asks, "where's Sunflower's penis?" Of course, I had to explain that she didn't have one because she's a girl and girls have a different part for going peepee. He proceeded to then expertly show off his knowledge of the proper places for each of the species under our roof to do their business. . .

"Mogwai goes peepee in the litter box. That's his potty. Jimi and Sunflower go peepee outside in the yard. Mommy and Daddy go peepee in the potty."

Then I ask Jonah where he goes and he claims, a little excitedly, "in my little potty." I had to correct him that he was still going peepee in diapers, but that we want him to pee in his "little potty" and it's something he's going to have to learn very soon. We talked about trying it this weekend. There's a technique where you just tell the kid, "no more diapers" and put them in underwear. They learn pretty quickly that they don't like being wet or dirty without a diaper. Unfortunately, this morning brings a setback to that plan.

I had every intention of beginning the diaper free weekend today, since there's no school due to this pathetic excuse for snow accumulation today. But it appears he's developed an allergy or intolerance of some sort to mango. The past several times he's had mango juice in any form, he's had, well let's just say tummy troubles. . . messy ones. The gas this morning woke him up an hour or so early and had him periodically crying. Then once that passed he fell back to sleep watching The Empire Strikes Back. ;) I'm kind of afraid to say, "no more diapers" and put him in underwear with something like this going on.

*shakes fist* Curses foiled again!

But anyway, about that whole, "my kid will know the proper words for things and other parents will hate me" thing. Well, he's well on his way to being that kid in Kindergarten Cop. You know the one. And neither of his parents are gynecologists as an excuse.
mellymell: (Default)
Christmas is over and I'm taking down the tree right this minute. But this is hilarious and the cat reminds me of [ profile] mighty_docnose's old cat Wang. Laziest cat EVAR!

(via [ profile] cleolinda's twitter)
mellymell: (he told me to burn things)
New Moon in lolcats.

Now back to my deep cleaning induced absence.

And, Happy 3rd Birthday JONAH!!"
mellymell: (Default)
I go to close a pop up ad when suddenly my attention is caught by the fact that they have Halloween costumes representing various degrees you can get with them. Batman as a Criminal Investigator was what first caught my eye, but then I started looking at the rest of them.

Random or planned? )

My all time favorite, the Grim Reaper as a Pharmacy Technician. I think I'd hire a pirate accountant if I could. I'm not so sure about a zombie psychologist, though. I guess his primary interest would be in braaaaaiiinnnsss, but not in a productive way. And for all you developers out there, how authentic is a clown for a project manager? Am I right or am I right or am I right?

Hey look, J-9, Snow White as an author! Freaky!

Now back to writing. Yes writing, for the rare few moments I'm able to steal away in the day to do so. I've got to get the very few bits and pieces out of my head now so that I can focus on something else (and also sleep at night). Once they're out of the way, I'll worry about piecing together other bits later as they come. I assure you, I am NOT writing The Great American Novel here. It's going to be crap. In fact, my rough draft/outline/brainstorming documents already read like a snarky parody. I figure that's a step in the right direction. . . or an indication that I've been reading too much of [ profile] cleolinda.


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